matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
