: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
