I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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