i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
