My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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