If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
