And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
only you would photoshop your dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
