My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
