tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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