does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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