I heard we made out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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