it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
