my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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