know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
