I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
