You just made me feel so damn special
People in love make me want to vomit
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
