Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
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