Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
