Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
