I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
