I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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