ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
