Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
