i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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