so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
