in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize