I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize