this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
