apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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