I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
