Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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