yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
