If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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