I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize