It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
