Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
