I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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