Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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