You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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