Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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