My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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