Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize