Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize