Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
