Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
