Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
