What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
