dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
