Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
