I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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