Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
