Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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