I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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