Can i not drive my cunt home
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
