She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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