Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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