i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
