but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
