We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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